I promised myself I would keep busy this 2WW so that I wouldn't overanalyze every phantom symptom while I waited to find out whether this IUI worked or not. Enter American Horror Story, Candy Crush, and Angry Birds Star Wars Edition.
First of all, I don't know whether to slap or hug the person or people who told me to watch American Horror Story. I can't stop watching, yet every episode is so disturbing that I fear I will never sleep again. I am halfway through season 1 and have never wanted something to simultaneously end and continue at the same time. If you haven't seen it, I'm not going to tell you to watch it, but I'm also not going to tell you not to....
I think it goes without saying that Candy Crush is one of the most addictive games ever invented. I am currently stuck on level 23, and the amount of frustration I have at being unable to pass that level surpasses the level of frustration associated with being stuck in rush hour traffic.
Lastly, those damn pigs in Angry Birds are now dressed as Storm Troopers and laughing Darth Vaders. It is maddening! I finally made it off of Tattooine, but cannotfor the life of me make it off the Death Star!
It's a good thing that I have had some activities to keep my mind occupied, because unfortunately this IUI cycle didn't work. I wasn't expecting much, but I was still trying to remain optimistic and have hope. I don't really know how to have a lot of hope after 25 months and 20 cycles though. I wish I could say that I went into it feeling good that it would work out- I didn't. Call me cynical, and maybe I am, I just have a hard time convincing myself to have hope when I have spent the last 25 months training myself how to not be disappointed.
In any case, we are trying it again.I started Clomid again tonight, and based on my excellent response last month, we are doing 100mg. again. I go back in next Wednesday for my monitoring appointment, and plan on asking for a trigger this cycle with the hopes of boosting our chances. Between now and then however, I am going to try and convince myself to hope.
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